Author Archives: jtjimltcm

Patience

 

Just two weeks ago, I stood at the top of my castle garden path and surveyed a disaster.  Years earlier, upon the death of my mother, I had withdrawn to the inner court of life attending to garage sales, probate battles, and sad despair.  There was no time left for gardening.

In the loneliness of abandonment, my garden had given up and lowered its drawbridges for the mint to enter.  Enter it did, tendril by tendril, bed by bed, the long green spearmint strands slid, slithered, and wove their spell over three long garden beds really meant for vegetables.  Having no other choice, the garden welcomed mint.

The Great Mint Takeover lasted for two years until the inevitable happened.  The automatic sprinkler system died, and with it, so did the mint.

Now, after three years’ absence, I stood at the corner battlement of our castle, surveying the enemy, planning my attack. 

My mental list grew by the second:  pull the mint, yank and tear the mint, trench the edges of the beds for new water lines, put in 25 bags of mulch, parsley seeds around the tree, a row of Kentucky Blue Lake bean plants in the top garden bed, cherry tomato plants against the walls, and white and lavender alyssum in a stretch along the bottom edge of each bed.  A red clay bird bath would look nice under the desert lilac tree, catching water from the early morning sprinklers.  Maybe the hummingbirds would come back.  If I hurried I could pull all the summer seed packets out of the drawer:  yellow crookneck squash, zucchini, cantaloupe, ten varieties of peppers, and eggplant.

In two minutes of excitement, I envisioned a return of Camelot.  It had taken three years to lose the kingdom, and I now planned to restore her glory simply because I wanted to restore her glory.  The doing would be accomplished by the wanting.

The temptation is to run from flower bed to flower bed, racing to the nursery, yanking and planting, and staring for seed sprouts…all Today.  What a great gift is a gardener’s enthusiasm!  Greater still, is the gift of patience.   God appreciates our enthusiasm in life, but He designed the garden to teach patience.

Patience submits to His truths and the truths of plants and soil in the garden.   I can yank out piles of mint, but they have to be wheeled out one barrow at a time into the alley.  I can dig up the soil and mix it with mulch, but I will move six inches at a time down each thirty-foot row.  Muscles ache, and the sun shines bright on fair skin. Twenty-five bags of mulch are heavy.   I can work round the clock non-stop, except for bathroom breaks, water breaks, trips back to the nursery, dinner for the family, school band concerts, telephone calls, and pure, undeniable exhaustion.

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and the passion purple iris won’t bloom until the daytime temperatures reach 75 degrees.  If you want earthworms, you still have to wait until K-Mart stocks them for the fishing season.  You can go ahead and transplant the bell pepper plants in the morning, but they really prefer if you wait until late afternoon when they will have the quiet of the night to recuperate.  And after all the beds are tidy and the sprinklers are timed to mist the beds twice a day, seeds still need ten days to sprout through the top of the soil,…no matter how hard and long I stare at the dark brown patch of dirt.

God, thank you for blessing me with a garden.  And shouldn’t I rejoice for strong muscles that ache from a long day’s work?  Now, grant that I might grow in patience, that I might learn the glory of moving in concert with your master plan.

Amen.

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Meditations:  In the Garden
TABLE OF CONTENTS

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Copyright 2017.  All Rights Reserved.

Water Power

And when the men of that place recognized Jesus, they sent word to all the surrounding country. People brought all their sick to him and begged him to let the sick just touch the edge of his cloak, and all who touched him were healed.  [Mat 14:35-36]

 

I put on my pink plastic garden shoes and headed for regular morning garden inspection.  Down the steps, turning right on the gravel path just after the lavender,  the bright blue sky made me glance upward just as my right foot stepped forward and immediately sank. 

Shocked, I pulled up on my foot.  The mud pulled and sucked as my shoe came free, leaving a three inch deep outline.  Immediately, I knew what had to be done.

Taking one giant step over the problem area I headed toward the tool shed, returning with a shovel and plastic box of repair pieces.  I scraped the orange gravel to the side of the path and began digging gently around the foot print.   Lifting the mud onto bare dirt, I continued probing with the tip of the shovel down into the slimy mess.  Two more gentle pushes, and I met pay dirt.  A firm resistance told me to pull back the large shovel and use the hand trowel to dig further down into the mud.

I dropped to my knees and began to lift the wet mud out of the growing hole.  Closer to the ground, I could see the large area of dirt that had been absorbing water throughout the week from a leak somewhere underground in our precious drip system.  Scoop by scoop, silt and slime accumulated onto a pile by my side.

I tried to imagine the leak in the blue irrigation tubing that had caused such a mess.  My knees were soaking wet, and every time I lifted out a scoop of mud, a tiny oozing landslide filled the hole again.  Eventually, the hole growing wider, I reached moist dirt that held firm banks, and I was able to dig more forcefully toward the nasty leak.

As I exposed the tube and wiped the mud off, I looked for the clean water drip that marked the exact spot for repair.  There it was.  A prick, a pin hole, a speck of a hole letting one drop at a time squeeze out.  One drip after another, the water had saturated three feet of pathway, softening the dirt and making a hidden trap for me on my morning walk.

On my knees, my thoughts turned to Jesus as He preached in the desert.  How his words must have offered such refreshment to parched souls.  How tiny his words must have seemed at first, like the small drips coming from the blue tube.  But how powerful they were!  They came without end, one after the other, softening the soil of human existence, spreading out over the landscape, ready to pull passing people into God’s inner circle of love.

Water Power in my garden showed me the tremendous strength of God’s Love Power.  It is ever so quiet, but drop by drop, it softens our hearts and offers the life-saving drink of salvation.

PRAYER:  Let me drink in the cool refreshment of God’s Word each day.

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Meditations:  In the Garden
TABLE OF CONTENTS

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Copyright 2013.  All Rights Reserved.

Haunting Words

June, 2017

I am stealing this story.

But the haunting words of another have reached deep into my soul and pricked my heart.  If I could remember who shared her dream, I would give her credit…and thanks.

My heart has been weighed down of late.  And according to the standards of the world, I have no good reason to lament.  I have reached the pinnacle, the goal of every human.  I have enough.  Home, food, security, family…more than enough…I have it all.

Television commercials encourage young people.  You can have it all.  Work hard, get ahead, invest wisely…and one day you will be able to retire…because you have it all.

Television commercials celebrate seniors.  Once struggling workers, they now have the freedom to ride bikes through French villages, play endless rounds of golf and break world records…jumping out of airplanes, sky diving at 101 years of age. 

My activity of choice takes me down to the dirt, rich moist soil, the source of flowers and peppers and tomatoes and beans.  Once a chore required to put food on the table, gardening is now a luxury.  It is the excuse for slowing down, noticing small things and expanding the soul under God’s canopy.  It is just the quiet space of the world where haunting words can find me.

I recall the story, the woman with a dream.  In her sleep she was carried up to heaven.  Standing before the mighty throne, she felt the gaze of the Father rest on her.  Love enfolded her.  Then in a heavenly mirror she saw what He saw.  Leaves.  Her humanity expressed as a lush green tree, full and bright with leaves.  A tree that any human would love to sit under, would pay to enjoy its cool shade on a summer day.  But to the woman, a sharp pain pierced her heart.  Leaves.  All leaves.  Where is the fruit?

So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, ‘For three years now I’ve been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven’t found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?’ [Luke 13:7]

The Loving Gaze did not accuse.  It was the woman’s charge.  She had wanted to be before His throne with a glorious offering.  And all she had were leaves.  No fruit.

In retirement, we are blessed with choices.  No longer constrained with the need to work ten-hour days at the office, “the world is our oyster.”

Each morning an unlimited number of choices lay at my feet.  Tilling the soil, I can plant anything.  I dream of my offering, the basket I want to carry home with me.  Haunted by the dream of another, I stare into the basket, down deep into the bushel basket and ask myself, “Where is the fruit?”

No, I am not haunted by an accusation.  Love does not accuse.  It invites.  It inspires.  It endures.

Rather, I am haunted by a desire to use every gift I’ve been given to return to my Father with fruit…not out of duty…but in tremendous gratitude…and with inexpressible love.

    Awake, my soul!
Awake, O harp and lyre!
    I will awake the dawn.
 I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples;
    I will sing praises to you among the nations.
 For your steadfast love is as high as the heavens;
    your faithfulness extends to the clouds.  [Psa 57:8-10]

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Meditations:  In the Garden
TABLE OF CONTENTS

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Copyright 2017.  All Rights Reserved.

8. Examination

 

The understanding must be freed from two great defects under which it frequently labors….The second is a persistent application to the serious and diligent examination of every object in order to distinguish the good from the evil.  (SC 14-15, Chapter 7)

The small red sports car appears out of nowhere within two feet of my rear bumper…then zips right, straight, and left again, two feet from my front bumper…before speeding forward and out of sight. What was that?

My mental prayer is broken, and a judgment is formed which is not in accord with external appearances.  In other words, I have condemned the driver of the small red sports car of multiple sins against humanity.

On my way to work, the driver of the small red sports car is only the first person to be subject to my “diligent examination.”  The two seconds required for him to speed past me was ample time for me to condemn him.

Maybe I am right.  Maybe he is an inconsiderate driver, just like all the others who buy hot red sports cars and take joy in speeding in and out of traffic just to show off.

Then again, maybe I am wrong.  Maybe his mother called him five minutes ago, distraught, trying to revive her husband…his father…who lays on the kitchen floor.  Maybe.

Right and wrong, good and evil…so quick to judge, I am quick to condemn and slow to do a diligent examination.  Is it good…or evil?

Sometimes my failure to examine the facts in accord with external appearances, the testimony of our senses, or the standards of a corrupt world[i] is of no worldly consequence.  What I think of the driver of the little red sports car will not change his life or the direction of the world at large.

Sometimes…my failure is life-threatening.  For how many years did I refuse to open my eyes and examine the truths involved in aborting unwanted babies?

Is it good…or evil?  It is greater to despise the world than to have it at one’s command.[ii]

How do I know what I see before me?  Good or evil?  The distinction between the two extremes is often blurred.  But it is never without consequence.

Abortion threatens God’s life-giving blessing of marriage and procreation.  The driver of the little red sports car threatens my personal pride and ego. In either case, how do I know how to proceed?

God must lead.

[i] SC 14

[ii] Ibid.


Question:  Lord, in Your eternal time frame, let me take time to consider what I see before me in Your terms.  What do I witness before me…good or evil?


PRAYER: 

Lord, let me pause and reflect.  Let me lay your statutes before me and measure what I see before me with your word laid up in my heart.

 SCRIPTURE

I have laid up thy word in my heart,
    that I might not sin against thee.
Blessed be thou, O Lord;
    teach me thy statutes!
[Psa 119:11-12]


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7. Understanding

 

If we engage in the spiritual combat with no other weapons than a distrust of self and confidence in God,…we must expect frequently to commit greater blunders….Let us begin with regulating the understanding and the will.  (SC 13-14, Chapter 7)

One thing leads to another.  It is inevitable.

Years ago when our kids were in their teens, I stumbled upon a medical fact unknown in the general culture.  Contrary to the safe sex message crafted by and taught in our school district, condoms were not a guarantee of “safe sex.”

As I began asking questions, it was only a matter of time before I came to reject my “pro-choice” acceptance of abortion and was soon working in the pro-life world.  Life of the unborn was a matter that stirred my passions.

After years of turning my eyes and covering my ears, my understanding was finally freed from the great defect of ignorance.[i]  No longer could I look at the photo of a child in the womb and deny its humanity.

Today, looking back on those years, I realize that my passion for life moved faster than my understanding of the subject.  Passionately, I wrote weekly blog columns posted on the new Internet.  I attended meetings, hearings and conferences.

But ignorance is reluctant to give way to understanding.  Quick to voice my opinions, I took time only to dig up a quote or fact that might help at the moment.  I interviewed, and I wrote.  Action was its own justification.  I was everywhere at one time…and nowhere in particular.

A new Christian in those days, I relegated prayer to my quiet time in the morning.  Today, dwelling in prayer throughout the day, I regret that my pro-life activity had not been covered at all times by unending prayer.

In general, I knew I was serving the Lord.  But specifically, I didn’t let the Author of Life lead me in the little moments and small decisions.  As one thing led to the next, my passion was unfocused and flailing in response, not to the Lord’s leading, but to the outside world.

I move slower these days.  Passionate as ever, I finally understand that my personal passion is not enough.  God must lead.

[i] SC 14


Question: Today, what passion stirs my heart?  Have I submitted this to the Lord?  And have I taken time to listen to His direction?


PRAYER: 

Lord, let me see you and trust you as the fountain of all truth and understanding.

 SCRIPTURE

The Lord looks down from heaven,
    he sees all the sons of men;
from where he sits enthroned he looks forth
    on all the inhabitants of the earth,
he who fashions the hearts of them all,
    and observes all their deeds.
[Psa 33:13-15]


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