The man who has a deep distrust of himself and places great confidence in God is not at all surprised if he commits a fault…Thus he learns to distrust himself more, and he places all his hopes in the assistance of the Almighty. SC 11, Chapter 4
I know what I am supposed to do. But after my failures yesterday, how will I manage? The greater the anxiety and despondence, the greater is the certainty of my guilt.[i]
Why do I fail to turn my worries over to the Lord? The answer is not what I expect. The man who has a deep distrust of himself and places great confidence in God is not at all surprised if he commits a fault.[ii]
Do I really distrust myself? So much of my worry is concerned with how I might fix a problem. I have put myself in charge. Where is God? Christ?
From the beginning, Christ knew the outcome of His prayer in Gethsemane. And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt.”[iii]
Should my life be exempt from the suffering of the life of Christ? He is my example. Knowing the cross He would carry, He still turned all things over to the Father. He trusted. He suffered.
But that was not the end. Placing all his hopes in the assistance of the Almighty, he trusted in the Father’s love. Can I do any less?
It is easy to say I trust in the Lord. Easier to say than to do. Instead, I scheme, I plan, I press forward, trusting in my own resources. I should not be surprised to find myself taking the reins away from the Lord.
Trust in God is not a permanent fixture that I can push aside as I make my way through the day. Each new day, in the light of dawn, my focus must be checked and adjusted.
Then, in the midst of my struggles, frustrations and anxiety, I must check again…adjust again…and trust again…but…
Trust is only powerful when I place it at its Source, with the Father.
I am not alone in this struggle. With complete confidence in God’s eternal plan and goodness, I fall on my knees with Christ at Gethsemane. “My Father…not as I will, but as thou wilt.”
[i] SC 11.
[iii] Mat 26:39
Question: Today, Lord, where do I place my trust?
Lord, help me meditate on the life of Christ and His witness of the resurrection to come. Let the trust of Christ in the Father become my own trust.
We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose. [Rom 8:28]
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